Wednesday, Jul. 08, 2009

Case notes: Zella's dating tips

Joanna Cattanach

Culled from four decades of fixing people up (and 8 1/2 decades of living), Zella's 10 tips on dating seem like common sense. So why aren't you following them?

1. Be yourself. Be yourself. Be yourself. You can't keep on pretending.

2. Let people know you are ready to date. People may or may not know you're single, and by letting others know you're available that, um, let's others know you're available.

3. Go everywhere. Meet people. Get out of your house and socialize. Zella recommends trying a church with a large singles group or moving to an apartment complex with a large number of singles.

4. Always be prepared to meet someone. Look good, clean and groomed. You never get a second chance to make a first impression.

5. Men should shine their shoes before a date. Women shouldn't use too much hair spray, gel or mousse. Stiff hair is not attractive.

6. Women should lean forward when a man is talking. It shows interest. And never, ever answer a cellphone or fumble through an oversize purse. It's a distraction and a major turnoff.

7. Don't talk about exes or past relationships at a first date or in the beginning of a relationship. Bad-mouthing an ex, no matter how wrong he or she was, is a turnoff.

8. Men should choose where to go on a first date and have a place picked out. It's nice to ask what kind of food your date likes before you go out. Women should initiate and pay for a third date with an invitation to dinner, a movie or tickets to an event.

9. Texting and e-mailing is OK for a little while, but don't let it continue for a lengthy period of time. It's an avoidance mechanism. Make a face-to-face meeting or stop responding.

10. It's polite to at least meet someone for coffee. If it's not going to work out, you can seem busy the next two times they inquire and on the third let them know it's not going to work and you don't want them to waste their time or money.

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