Home  >  Entertainment

Entertainment

Burger Battle: Meet the judges

Posted 12:18pm on Thursday, Aug. 15, 2013

As the burger battle was raging, we tried, best we could, to preserve the anonymity of our judges. But now, we throw off our grease-stained veil, and reveal a little about the tasters. One judge even set his burger bio to iambic pentameter.

Preston “Animal Style” Jones

Ideal burger: Cooked to order, topped with something flavorful (onion-bacon jam, anyone?) and make sure that cheese is melted real nice.

Motto: A little bacon never hurt anyone.

Heather “Hold the Onions” Svokos

Ideal burger: Dripping ever so gently with juices, pink inside, crispy-seared edges outside, well-cheesed and a bun that’s like a TempurPedic mattress — simultaneously soft and firm.

Burger motto: A burger should be like Theresa Caputo: a medium with personality.

Robert “All the Way” Philpot

Ideal burger: Green-chile cheeseburger where the chiles have that perfect balance of flavor and heat, accompanied by lots of cheese. (He’s reformed from “Burger that can be eaten most easily while driving.”)

Burger motto: Are you finished with those fries?

Malcolm “Mad Cow” Mayhew

“Hooray for gourmet, said this burger judge.

One topped with arugula, I won’t begrudge.

But give me firm buns and medium-rare meat.

Some salt, some pepper, and now I shall eat.”

Rick “Burger Boss” Press

Ideal burger: Big, juicy with complex flavors and the soul of a backyard burger. And bacon. Lots of bacon.

Burger motto: I still believe in love at first bite.

Nick “Burger Boo-Boo Child” Dean

Ideal burger: Guacamole, bacon and Swiss. The patty should drip with enough grease for me to know it’s bad for me, but not so much that it forces onlookers to stare.

Burger motto: I hear they make burgers outside of Texas, but I don’t believe it.

Bud “No Cheese” Kennedy

Ideal burger: A double sauteed in Worcestershire with black pepper, mustard, tomato, lettuce and pickles, but please no cheese.

Burger motto: “Pardon me, but I thought I said no cheese.”

“Patty Cathy” Frisinger

Ideal burger: Charred on the outside, still mooing inside

Burger motto: I only eat burgers on days that end in “y.”

Steve “The Weekend Chef” Wilson

Ideal burger: I am a “Big Patty” guy, cooked medium. Cheese, bacon, mustard and diced onions is the way I burger.

Burger motto: There is no such thing as a veggie burger.

We welcome your comments on this story, but please be civil. Do not use profanity, hate speech, threats, personal abuse, images, internet links or any device to draw undue attention. Our policy requires those wishing to post here to use their real identity.

Our commenting policy | Facebook commenting FAQ | Why Facebook?


Hey there. or join DFW.com. Your account. Log out.

Remember me

We now have a new, simpler way for you to enter and search for events, at listings.dfw.com. As always, when you submit an event to appear online, it will also be available for us in our print publication. But now you can simply enter your event and provide an email address, rather than creating a separate account and registering. Our new listings tool is still a work in progress, so we appreciate your patience as we fine-tune it. Please contact us at hsvokos@dfw.com if you have any questions or concerns.