As Zero Dark Thirty sparks debate over waterboarding, we're left to wonder if there might be some other way to obtain information from enemy non-combatants.
I'd suggest forcing them to watch A Haunted House, the new Marlon Wayans movie and alleged comedy, a parody of the Paranormal Activity franchise. A parody that is, in its own way, more horrifying than the real thing.
House stars Wayans as Malcolm, a single man about to invite his girlfriend (Essence Atkins) to move in with him. For about two minutes, it looks like Wayans might be on to something -- looking for humor in the idea of a significant other invading your house and upending your life like some kind of poltergeist.
Wayans ditches all that for routine Scary Movie lowjinks, and in the process sets a modern non-Sandler record for flatulence jokes. Also offered -- a racist home security salesman (David Koechner), neighbors (Alana Ubach, Andrew Daly) who want to swing, a disgruntled Latina maid and an invisible ghost whose tactics include sexual assault. Nick Swardson plays a gay man with an intense interest in Malcolm.
It is all nearly laugh-free, although Cedric the Entertainer has 30 or 40 funny seconds as a cut-rate exorcist.
Not enough, though, to save A Haunted House from being an early contender for next year's Golden Raspberry.
Could it have a second life as an alternative to water-boarding?
I doubt the Geneva Convention would allow it.
