It's that time of the month. The mailbag is getting pretty heavy, so I thought I'd lighten the load a little and answer some of your questions. As always, keep in mind that I'm not really qualified to give advice. I've never taken a class, read a book or even listened intently when friends ramble on about their romance problems. But here I am, doling out advice like a stale fortune cookie.
Dear Yme ?: I recently ended a long-term relationship, and I'm now seeing the guy I thought would be the rebound fling. The problem is I really like him. He's got his life together: he's cute, has a good job, nice house, great personality and he likes dogs. I'm scared that it's just too soon to get into another relationship, and I haven't healed from the last one. But at the same time, I don't want to lose this guy. What should I do? -- Kelly
Dear Kelly: The sensible thing would be to take things slow. I think it's a myth that you can't go from one relationship to another. Long-term relationships don't suddenly go bad, they decay over time. Having been through the ending of a few, I knew things were over months before it was officially done. I was just hanging on, in denial. When they ended, I was more relieved than angry or sad. Chances are, you checked out of your relationship a long time ago, and might be ready for love again.
On the other hand, it can be healthy to be on your own. I'm a firm believer that you have to be comfortable with yourself before you can truly be a part of a mature relationship. You also have to let go of the feelings you have for your ex, and stop sleeping with him (if you're doing that).
Finally, it might be a good idea to talk to him about how you're feeling, and make sure you have plenty of space and time to process everything you're feeling. If he's as great as you say, he'll understand and be patient.
Then again, if he's that terrific, you should probably hang on for dear life.
Signed,
Yme?
Dear Yme?: Why does it take women so long to get ready? I get ready in less than 30 minutes, and my wife takes several hours. How can I get her to hurry up? -- Travis
Dear Travis: Guys have it pretty easy. Women practically prepare for surgery every day, just to look nice. Think about it: they have to shower with various perfumed soaps, apply gallons of scented lotion, shave their legs, put on makeup, get manicures and pedicures, do their hair, and who knows what else. I just shower and put on jeans. We have no room to complain, and should just be grateful that they go to all of the trouble and always smell nice.
If I could change one thing, I would request that women figure out what they are going to wear ahead of time. I've watched women try on numerous outfits, all of which were perfectly fine, only to hurriedly tear them off in favor of another and another. That I don't get. As far as the rest of it goes, just keep your mouth shut and watch TV or read a book until they are ready.
Signed,
Yme?