Y Me?: Getting into fighting trim

Posted 8:22am on Wednesday, Jul. 25, 2012

We men are typically good at being closed off, refusing to ask for help on some of the larger problems of our times. There are countless issues that need to be dragged out into the open, so we can all learn from one another. That's where I step in. Just think of me as your safe place.

This week I'd like to discuss a delicate topic: manscaping.

For those unfamiliar with the concept (you're my target audience), it's just a name for grooming the outlying areas of our nether regions. This is the last part of a man that a woman typically sees, and it can be particularly horrifying if she finds a bird's nest beneath a guy's boxer briefs.

Guys, it's not 1977 any more, and modern standards of beauty and decency demand that you trim. Don't you want to encourage as much action down there as possible? A woman doesn't want to go anywhere near unkempt junk.

I'm not suggesting that you shave completely, but you've got to tame the beast.

My personal manscaping routine is to shave the entire treasure trail -- the thin strip of hair on my stomach -- and trim down to about an inch above my goods. I try and shave the hair close -- think of it like a putting green. I also shave off as much of the hair on my upper thighs and other sensitive areas nearby. I usually do it about once a week, but if I know I'm going out on a date and I think sex is a possibility, I'll trim up beforehand.

I'd recommend using an electric razor. A straight razor is more likely to cut you, and create ingrown hairs.

I polled three reluctant friends of mine, and it turns out that two of the three have similar manscaping regimens. My pal, Jake, was the exception. He shaves everything bald once, sometimes twice a week. That sounds exhausting, but he said his high school girlfriend liked it that way and since he developed that custom during his sexually formative years, it's stuck with him.

Manscaping is so mainstream these days that it's common to find body trimmers and grooming products for men in stores like Kohl's and Bed, Bath & Beyond. So give a try, and it won't be long before you see the benefits.

I asked a girlfriend, who asked for anonymity, about this topic and she said that it's definitely a good sign when a guy is taking care of business down there. She also said she is less likely to perform oral sex on a man who hasn't trimmed. Her biggest turn off: belly hair.

"It's just gross," she said. "I get that some guys are hairier than others, but I can't go down on a Wookie."

Women go through hours of waxing, shaving and God knows what else. The least we can do is spend half an hour a week weed whacking our man bits. If you think this doesn't apply to you, I humbly suggest you either have a very understanding (miserable) woman or you're not pulling the caliber of woman who would care. Time to step up your game, fellas.

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