It's been a while since I've dipped into the mailbag, and it's getting a little full. So I thought it was time to dole out some of my patented terrible advice. As always, I issue this disclaimer: I'm not qualified to give advice. I don't have any training, and very little compassion. I am a jaded, single narcissist who can't hold down a stable relationship. You should not follow my advice under any circumstances.
Dear Y Me?:
I'm was recently divorced, and I'm trying to get back into the dating game after being out of it for over 10 years. I'm a relatively attractive, young-looking man just looking to play the field for a while. How do I get back into the game without getting into a relationship?
Back on the Scene
Dear Back on the Scene:
I feel for you. Dating is awful, and there is almost no way to pursue a casual relationship without having to leave some money on the dresser. The best way to find young, attractive casual partners is to be married. I don't know what it is about married guys, but I know of a couple of hotties who are giving up the milk in hotel rooms on a weekly basis to married men. But that horse is obviously already out of the barn.
My best advice would be to get on Match.com, and (this is very important), date woman ages 25-30 years old. I have no idea how old you are, but I'll assume you're over 30, since you were in a relationship for 10 years. Single women your age are looking to settle down. Women slightly younger than you are, too, but they don't have the same nagging biological clock issues. (You don't want to go too young, though, because you'll have nothing in common with a 23-year-old, and they rarely have anything to say.)
The last thing you want to be is the old guy at a bar, who dresses like he's 19. Those guys are creepy. You can still be creepy, just do it online.
Dear Y Me?:
Why is it every time I ask my husband to hang out with my friends, he rolls his eyes and acts like a child? And why is it he never asks me to hang out with his friends? We've been married for six years, and we never do stuff with other couples. How can I get him to come around on this?
This is a tricky one, because I don't know your friends. Personally, I know that my friends have always been way cooler than any woman I've dated. Also, some guys like to keep church and state (wife and friends) separate. Of course, you're married, so he needs to suck it up and act like a grown man.
I think the answer to both of your questions is simple. Ease him into hanging out with your friends and other couples. The best thing to do would be to plan something that he likes to do. Maybe double date at a ballgame or at a restaurant he likes. If he likes to grill, that would be a good opportunity to invite friends over to your place.
Guys can be a little closed off, but if you go through the effort of planning something that will bring people together, hopefully he'll recognize that it's important to you. Make sure he socializes with everyone, too. Guys will instinctively stick with their own.
Hope this helps.