I've been seeing a woman for a few months, and it's not really going all that well. She's great, and we have a good time when we're together, but I rarely see her more than once a week. When we are together, we mostly hang out, have dinner and drinks, and catch up on one another's week. She lives kind of far away, and we don't spend enough time together to make a real connection.
We don't have a lot in common, other than the fact that we enjoy the other's company.
I'm thinking about breaking it off, but I've rarely been faced with that dilemma in the past. Needless to say, I'm a little out of my element. There's no real reason for us to break up, other than I'm just not feeing that our relationship will progress into anything meaningful -- and I suspect she feels the same way. I know in my heart-of-hearts that breaking up now is the right thing to do, but seeing as how I've never done it, I felt the need to reach out to some friends for some possible breakup techniques.
Most of the people I asked said the honorable thing to do would be to break up in person. That way, I have to face her and tell her exactly what I'm thinking and feeling, and maybe we'll both learn something from the experience. Of the five people whose opinion I asked, four said that would be the best method. All five said it could be a little cowardly to do it over the phone, but better than a text message or an e-mail, either of which would mean I'm a total dick.
One of my friends, Kevin, who you might remember as the playa who tried to teach me the art of using women, suggested I do it after sex, because, to use his words, "you don't know when you'll get it again." He said this "grudge-f***" is common in the world of libertines. I'm not going to follow his advice, of course, but it's still fascinating to get his take on things that are emotionally exhausting to most normal people, just to see how he can dehumanize them.
The best advice I got was from a happily divorced guy friend, who suggested I do it in person and in a public place. In that scenario, he said, she's less likely to make a scene. And if she does, I'll have then confirmed I made the correct decision and have story to tell to boot. The last thing I wanted to do, he told me, was to have her over to my place. It needs to be done somewhere I can leave in a hurry. It's also easier, he continued, to do it at a coffeehouse, or somewhere that doesn't serve booze, in order to avoid drunken drama.
All of this breakup talk got me to thinking about the various ways in which I've been dumped. I was once sent a greeting card that said "I'm so sorry," with pictures of flowers on the front. Another time, a girl broke up with me but gave me tickets to a Rangers game. That was sad and awesome.
I guess I'll try and do it this weekend, and hopefully I'll do it early enough so I can go hang out with my friends afterward. Then again, maybe I'll wait for the Rangers to get back into town.