Y Me: He offered to trade sex toys for letters, and he got takers

Posted 8:00am on Wednesday, Feb. 22, 2012

For those who missed it, DFW.com held a Valentine's Day contest, in which we asked readers to send me questions, for a chance to win a gift pack from the Velvet Box -- which recently opened a new location in the West 7th area. Apparently, my readers really like sex toys. I received a deluge of questions. Now I'm going to start answering those questions. I'll get to some of them here, and some on my Facebook page, www.facebook.com/YmeDFW.

Dear Mr. Y Me: How is a single, sane, kind of pretty (I guess), genuinely nice lady in her early 30s supposed to be able to meet another single, sane, genuinely nice gentleman these days?

I exert all of my energy as an elementary art teacher with 630 students per week. Almost daily, and certainly by the week's end, I'm too spent, toasted, lackluster, empty (and any other adjective to describe completely done) to have the desire to go out. Granted, I absolutely don't mind spending all weekend with my indescribably adorable mini Aussie, in my cute house with a pleasingly green yard and sparkling blue pool and my favorite wine.

I'm a little worried that I'm going to spend my life away "happy" like this. (My mom is concerned she has a "spinster daughter.") I'm not interested in any "Dads" from my school, co-workers are already husbands and kid-laden in their own lives. The supermarket is always full of my students and their parents. There are no guys (not that I even look anyway). My church is made up of a much older group of people -- none of whom is in my age group, let alone single.

That prize pack would sure add some fun (for me) for a while! Advice?

-- Crystal

Dear Crystal: My high-school geometry teacher used to always say, "You always make time for what you put first." Of course, he was trying to get me to do my homework, but I think it applies to you. It sounds like you've nested, and have gotten pretty cozy in the bubble you live in. I think getting a prize package that encourages you to stay in that bubble (and masturbate) is the worst thing that could happen to you -- if you're sincere in your search for love.

Listen to your mother. There are tons of ways to meet guys, you've just got to make the effort. I understand you're busy, but Internet dating was made for busy people. (You'll have to weed through a lot of weirdoes, though). It's kind of a big leap at first, but it gets easier. It's a brave new world, Crystal. Get yourself in front of a computer, and find a dog-sitter.

Dear Mr. Y Me: I've been married for 231/2 years, and it's been great. We are happy. Recently, my wife decided (of her own volition) to explore kissing another girl. I was there and so was the woman's husband. It was awesome, especially since they were not prodded by us to do it. They really enjoyed it -- as did the woman's husband and I.

Here is the question: There are other girls we know who have asked me if my wife would swing that way, as they are interested in her. I haven't mentioned this to her, because I didn't want to screw up what's already happening (leaving her to her own devices so to speak). What should I do?

-- Aubrey

P.S.: as much fun as it would be to join in, I really just like that she's doing this and I get to get with her later.

Dear Aubrey: Where are you and your wife hanging out where there are so many women who want to make out with her? I never get invited to those kinds of parties.

I think you should borrow some wisdom from the Hippocratic Oath: "Do no harm." I understand that you witnessed some awesome woman-on-woman action, but forcing the issue might make her feel self-conscious. Play it cool, man. Let the game come to you.

Maybe try to arrange a night of binge drinking with just you, your wife and one of the many women who want a piece of her. Then, after everyone has had a few adult beverages, see where the night takes you. Good luck. Let me know how it works out.

If you have a question for me, shoot me an e-mail at dating@dfw.com, and be sure to check out my Facebook page and Twitter account.

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