A few weeks ago, I asked you, the reader, to share with me some of your dating/relationship horror stories. It only seemed fair that I get to read your war stories, since so many people get to snicker at my dating life every week. A few brave souls answered the call, and I picked out a couple that I thought were pretty typical and/or funny (funny in the schadenfreude sense, in that I, finally, get to wallow in someone else's misery).
The dating world has been pretty rough for Anonymous in Mansfield. I get the sense that she is as fed up with dating as I am:
I am 40, divorced, and for almost two years now I have dated a series of men who give me every indication they want a relationship, only to find out after a few weeks or even months later they don't "want a relationship with anyone."
I was set up with a guy who made the first two dates and then canceled them, and brought someone with him to our "third" date. One guy I dated through hunting season last year and he liked me so much he gave me the garage code to his house and asked me if I would take care of his beloved dog on the weekends, while he was off hunting. I did it because I liked him and the dog. He broke it off with me after the first of the year, when hunting season was over, by text message. I miss that dog.
Melinda in Fort Worth had some great war stories. This one was my favorite, because I've had my share of "surprises" from online dates who looked nothing like the old pictures of themselves they posted online. Also, this guy sounds pretty clueless, and the story made me giggle.
I was having a first date with a man I'd met online. He was good on paper -- great job, good pictures and the e-mails and phone calls had been snappy and fun. When I arrived at the restaurant and saw him in person, I notice he'd fudged a couple of inches on his profile. That was generally no big deal, except that I'd worn heels that should have put me just at or below his eye level, and instead, I was towering a few inches over him.
We were seated quickly, so I didn't think too much about it. The conversation overall was rolling along well. We were at a tapas restaurant and had ordered several different plates to test a little of everything. The meal was winding down when he started to pick up the bone from the lamb chop and gnawed it clean. It would be one thing if we were at a BBQ joint, but we're in a really nice restaurant and he was wearing a suit.
Then, he reached over and took the lamb chop bone off my plate and cleaned it off, too. No "are you done with that?" or anything. He just grabbed and chewed. We'd barely had physical contact beyond a handshake and he's putting the bone I ate from in his mouth. I was horrified but somehow managed to pretend it wasn't happening. I just kept talking, looked away and took a drink from my cocktail. I could have won an Oscar for my performance.
Later in our conversation (I stayed for dessert -- I felt that really earned dessert), he brought up chewing off of my lamb chop bone. I told him that I wasn't going to mention it but now that he brought it up, I thought that was pretty gross. Then he told me that it was a test to see how I'd react. Apparently, he'd gone out with wretched women before that didn't know how to act or something, but he was testing me to see how I'd react. I told him I was raised right, and that this was our first and last date, because giving me a test on our first date isn't the best foot to put forward.
Thanks to Anonymous in Mansfield and Melinda in Fort Worth. It's nice to know that I'm not the only one who is having a tough time out there. If you'd like your personal life dragged out in the open, feel free to e-mail me at firstname.lastname@example.org.