Q I'm in the middle of a really strange love triangle, and I'm not sure what to do. I'm single, and my two best friends are in a relationship with each other. They've been together for almost three years, and we've all been playing around together in the bedroom (theirs) for the last three months. It's been a lot of fun, believe me. One of the women, who I'll call Jill, frequently goes out of town on business, leaving Jenny all alone with me. We've been spending those nights together and getting closer than ever. I think we might be falling in love. Jill and Jenny get along well in their daily lives, and it truly isn't my intention to split them up. But Jenny has been hinting to me that she might break it off with Jill to be with me. I don't want to hurt Jill, whom I have deep affection for, but I'm completely lost on what to do.
-- Three's a Crowd
AI've never been in such a juicy love triangle before. But if I had entangled myself in one, I'd try my best at this point to pull back and not do anything. Jenny is the one in the relationship; she's the one who would ultimately have to take action to be with you by ending things with Jill. If you truly love her and are willing to risk losing both her and Jill -- your two supposed best friends -- for the chance that things could work out between you two, then I'd make my feelings clear, and then step back and let her take the action.
But it's hard to suspect that whatever has sprung up between you and Jenny isn't at least in part related to the illicit, taboo nature of things. And you have to know already that if Jill found out, she would be terribly hurt.
Threesomes can be fun, enlightening and exciting. But they're not all fun and games, right?
Q I am soon to be 42 years old. I am attracted to much younger women. Good news is they like me back. I have found out (much to my pleasure) that younger girls are much more sexually aggressive than I would have ever imagined. Is this a generalization ... or am I accurate in this observation? Please give me the good news/sexual validation that I so desperately seek.
-- Waiting for a Sign in Downtown
AJust to make sure I have this straight: You're nearly 42 years old, you're enjoying the merits of sexually aggressive women who are much younger than you are, and you're looking to an advice columnist for an in-print stamp of approval?
I agree that, yes, younger and younger women -- and men too, for that matter -- seem to be slutting it up more than ever. We have Sex and the City, Girls Gone Wild and Paris Hilton and her, um, posse to thank -- or decry -- for that trend.
But if you're "so desperately" seeking validation about this and are "waiting for a sign" that it's all OK, then it seems you're harboring some guilt (or perhaps just want to brag).
As for the guilt, only you can answer why. As for me, the only way I'll give you the go-ahead is if you're doing all of the following: 1) Not making false promises to these PYTs just to get them in the sack; 2) Not getting them pregnant or giving them diseases; and 3) (this should go without saying) Keeping things legal age-wise. If you're in the clear for all three, quit feeling guilty and go get your Lolita on.
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