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closeWednesday, Oct. 29, 2008
The Ultimate Halloween DVD Guide
Turn out the lights, grab the popcorn and pop in one of these horrifying flicks.
By MALCOLM MAYHEW
Special to DFW.com
Right before Christmas comes the anti-Christmas: Halloween. In a few weeks, we’ll all be in festive moods, wearing silly Santa Claus hats, buying gifts for people we may or may not actually like and, of course, getting time off from work — the best X-mas gift of all.
But right now, we want to be scared. And every year, we relive this tradition by renting — or, now, Netflixing — scary movies. To guide you through the murky waters of nightmare inducers, here is an extremely biased best-of-the-scariest horror-film list. And, no, Psycho’s not on it. For the full list, see Page 6E
Fun and frightening
Friday the 13th (1980): This certainly wasn’t the first movie in which a bunch of cocky, drug-taking, sex-having teens get their heads sliced off while audience members yell back at the screen to NOT open THAT door, but it’s one of the more entertaining ones, with amusing dialogue, great makeup and — Who could forget? — Kevin Bacon. This is, of course, the birth — and death, the first of about a million — of Jason Voorhees, perhaps the best-known serial scarer.
Halloween (1978): John Carpenter’s Halloween spewed forth the ’80s slasher trend, not to mention blood-hungry kook Michael Myers, who terrorizes Jamie Lee Curtis while his doc, played by Donald Pleasence, chases him around town on Halloween night. Lots of popcorn fun. Great music, too.
Saw (2004): Very clever — and amusingly disturbing — story about a loon named Jigsaw who doesn’t kill his victims. He either makes them off themselves or each other, causing all kinds of talk-back-to-the-screen pandemonium in theaters. They’re so much fun, the fifth one just came out.
The Thing (1982): A very loose remake of 1951’s The Thing from Another World, John Carpenter’s redo pits a group of Antarctic scientists, led by Kurt Russell, against a shape-shifting alien that can change its form to look like anything, including the scientists. One part blood bath, one part guessing game, The Thing succeeds at being both visually and psychologically terrorizing, but still a blast to watch. Love the part where "the thing" turns into someone’s head and scampers away on spider legs, causing one of the scientists to say, "You gotta be (expletive) kiddin.’ "
Hope you have a good shrink
The Last House on the Left (1972): Before he went onto Nightmare on Elm Street fame, Wes Craven wrote and directed this unapologetically horrific film about two girls who are kidnapped by prison escapees. Gruesomely realistic for its time, and re-edited or altogether banned in parts of the country, House was heavily influenced, Craven has said, by the Vietnam War and his own anti-establishment sentiment. It makes Psycho look like The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants.
The Birds (1963): Alfred Hitchcock’s Psycho is often called the scariest movie ever made, but The Birds seems more believable. (Lord knows they don’t really seem to like us, judging from our car hoods.) An alternate ending consisted of birds covering the Golden Gate Bridge.
The Hitcher (1986): Rutger Hauer nails the role of a seemingly unstoppable madman carving his way along the back roads of middle America, chasing after C. Thomas Howell and Jennifer Jason Leigh. It’s an unnerving horror movie accented with good music and beautiful scenery.
The Exorcist (1973): From the subliminal images, to the part where Linda Blair vomits pea soup, to the infamous crucifix scene, there is not one easily watchable part of The Exorcist. Director William Friedkin’s movie, based on William Peter Blatty’s novel of the same name, caused protests, made people faint, ushered in demonic movies and scared the hell out of the entire world. Dare ya to watch it alone.
The Amityville Horror (1979): What really happened to the real-life Lutz family may never be known: George and Kathy Lutz are now dead, and their children are scattered around the country, using assumed names. But the family’s story lives on, thanks to this 1979 blockbuster about a haunted house in Amityville, Long Island. The special effects are lame, but the music, lighting and imagery make this one of the scariest movies ever made.
The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974): Like The Last House on the Left, Chain Saw, pictured above, was considered so diabolical that it was initially banned or re-edited by some theaters. Now it’s a classic. Unlike so many other over-the-top ’70s horror movies, Texan Tobe Hooper’s story of a chainsaw-wielding psychopath and his equally unhinged family — loosely based on the crimes of Ed Gein of Wisconsin — has held up well; its gritty look and shaky camera work has influenced countless other blood baths.
The Shining (1980): Stanley Kubrick’s reimagining of Stephen King’s novel about a boy with psychic powers, a washed-up writer, an isolated hotel and what happens when those three spend a winter together is visually stunning and gracefully terrorizing. The chase sequences at the end are spectacular, but then, the whole movie is spectacular, with its consistently tense tone, atmospheric mood and Jack Nicholson’s dead-on delivery.
Open Water (2003): The beauty of Chris Kentis’ small-cast, small-budget movie is that it doesn’t try to do anything except tell the story of a couple trapped in shark-infested waters. Doesn’t try to examine the relationship between the man and woman, no man-against-beast story, no human-condition theorization. It’s just a very simple, sad and scary movie.
Scream, ponder, repeat
Carnival of Souls (1962): Herk Harvey’s no-budget cult classic flopped upon release but has since found an audience with midnight moviegoers. It’s a bit like an extended Twilight Zone episode, in that the story — of a woman who survives a car accident and is haunted by spooky apparitions — keeps you guessing until the bittersweet end.
Night of the Living Dead (1968): George Romero’s classic black-and-white zombie flick is indeed unnerving: the realistic TV footage (complete with a ticker informing viewers where to seek shelter from the zombies), the utterly grotesque sounds of the zombies munching on flesh, the creepy lighting. First time you see it, it’ll shake ya a bit. But underneath all that is an intelligent social commentary about racism, intentional or not. Terrific ending, too.
Signs (2002): Taking more than a few cues from the media-conscious Night of the Living Dead, M. Night Shyamalan’s ode to crop circles is ingenious because you don’t see what’s causing all the fuss until the movie’s nearly over — and it keeps your attention throughout. Aside from the horror, this is a movie about family — what keeps them together, what tears them apart — and it’s one of the only great horror movies that is also a great family movie.
Phantasm (1979): So odd and unique, fans have started semiannual Phantasm conventions. The movie either makes no sense at all or makes perfect sense, depending on how you look at this story of flying, brain-draining spheres; a funeral director who can morph into a busty blonde (oh, and who also likes to kill people); and the two brothers trying to put a stop to the mayhem. If you figure this one out, let me know.
The Devil’s Backbone (2001): Filmed in Madrid and set against the backdrop of the Spanish Civil War, this exquisite Mexican gothic horror film from director Guillermo del Toro takes place in a haunted orphanage. There are some truly scary parts, but they are balanced by moments of tenderness and innocence that make this a different kind of horror movie — one with a heart.
Dark Water (2002): Not the lousy 2005 remake but the 2002 Japanese original, about a mother and daughter who move into a haunted apartment. Heartbreakingly bittersweet, it’s not only a ghost story but a love story between mom and daughter. Prepare to let out a coupla tears between your shrieks.
Silly, not so scary
Saturday the 14th (1981): Before Scary Movie came this lampooning of the horror genre, starring Richard Benjamin and Jeffrey Tambor, about a family living in a haunted house. The TV will only show The Twilight Zone, the dishes are mysteriously done, Dracula’s got a sense of humor — so what’s wrong with this house?
Creepshow (1982): An all-star cast — E.G. Marshall, Hal Holbrook, Ed Harris and, uh, Ted Danson — star in this collection of Stephen King-written/George Romero-directed short stories, all of which have a comic-book look and feel. Like the original poster said, this is the most fun you’ll ever have being scared.
Silly, not so scary — unintentionally so
Maximum Overdrive (1986): The list of Stephen King movies that have not adapted well to the screen is a blood-curdlingly long one, but none are more heinous than this campy stinker, which King directed himself, basing it on his short story Trucks. Emilio Estevez leads a pack of folks trapped in a cafe that’s being circled by killer trucks with no drivers. Oh, the laughs that ensue.
Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2 (2000): Say what you will about the original Blair Witch Project (brilliant or a bore), but there is no mistaking the level of awfulness of this horrendous, and ridiculously unbelievable, sequel.
Manos: The Hands of Fate (1966): You gotta rent this cringer, pictured above, but only rent the Mystery Science Theater 3000 version — the robots make fun of the movie. Then, and only then, is it funny.
Friday the 13th Part III (and, well, the rest of ’em): Part III was in 3-D. Get it — part 3, 3-D. Hardy har har har. The rest of the Friday the 13th sequels are hilariously awful, but Part V (A New Beginning) is worth seeing if only because it stars former Star-Telegram employee Deborah Voorhees. Seriously, that’s her last name. Kinda spooky, huh?
Tips, tricks and treats for a hauntingly good time
Thursday: Four costumes that start with a cape
Friday: Great ghoulish games for kids’ parties
Saturday: The history of Halloween candy
Sunday: Winners of our reader pumpkin-decorating contest
Monday: How much sugar is in your trick-or-treat candy?
Wednesday: Spooktacular treats to make with little ones
Today: Spook yourself with these scary movies
Halloween: Can you solve our amazing Halloween maze?
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