Every year, State Fair of Texas vendors willingly embrace the "any food tastes good fried" maxim, upping the ante to create the most outrageous concession-stand food of all time. It all started with the once-radical fried Twinkie a few years back. Then there was the fried Snickers bar. And who could forget the deep-fried Oreo cookie? This year is no different. Concessionaires are offering such delicacies as Country Fried Pork Chops, Fried Peanut Butter Cup Macaroons and, yes, the already-notorious Deep Fried Butter. Alternately motivated by the sheer grossness factor and pregnancy cravings, I recently waded through the Midway and beyond to try some of the fair’s fare.</p><p><strong><span class="subhead">Fletcher’s Corn Dogs, regular (8 tickets, $4); lemonade (6 tickets, $3)</span></strong></p><p>It was high noon when we approached the main Fletcher’s Corny Dog stand, just outside the automobile showcase and underneath the giant shadow of Big Tex. Understandably one of the busiest vendors at the fair, we waited a good five minutes for one of the corny dogs, and they didn’t disappoint. I tried the new jalapeño and cheese flavor (10 tickets) while mom and dad opted for the regular dog. We devoured them and downed the slightly sour lemonade to the beat of some generic live country music. We are officially walking State Fair of Texas stereotypes now.</p><p><strong><span class="subhead">Chicken Fried Bacon (10 tickets, $5)</span></strong></p><p>We arrived at the fair just as it opened, at 10 a.m. on a Sunday. After briefly being sidetracked by the carousel — my 2-year-old son Gabe’s first time! — we got down to business. We were first in line at the Hans Mueller German Sausage stand, and placed an order for the Chicken Fried Bacon, last year’s Big Tex Choice Best Taste award-winner. Six strips of bacon, each about 1&#8194; 1/4 - inches wide, were presented in a paper bowl. Coated with a thick crust much like that on fried chicken, the bacon was chewy and quite tasty. I would have preferred a bit more salt in the batter, but dad lapped his piece up. Mom, known for her love of crispy bacon, also enjoyed it, as did my husband, Jeff. But it was Gabe who set the tone for the rest of the day. We broke the bacon into bite-size pieces and put them on his stroller tray. The next time I looked down, they were all gone. </p><p><strong><span class="subhead">Sweet Jalapeño Corn Dog Shrimp (10 tickets, $5)</span></strong></p><p>Just around the corner from the Food and Fiber Pavilion, we spied an item that has very little fiber and close to no nutritional value, but it was an intriguing type of food, nonetheless: the Sweet Jalapeño Corn Dog Shrimp on a stick. The battered concoction, one of this year’s Big Tex Choice Best Taste award finalists, was close to 5 inches in length — a super-sized shrimp, surely — covered in fried cornmeal and bathed in one of those sickly sweet-and-spicy marinades. Can you tell I’m not a fan of this type of sauce? The shrimp, however, was excellent and just about as fresh as you can get. And this dish drew raves from mom, who swooned after she took her first bite.</p><p><strong><span class="subhead">Deep Fried Butter (8 tickets, $4)</span></strong></p><p>Alas, the moment of truth. We soon stumbled upon one of the fair’s two Fried Butter stands, replete with a line down the block. Winner of this year’s Big Tex Choice Most Creative award, it certainly makes my list of Grossest-Sounding Foods of All Time. With much reluctance, I placed my order. You can get the butter plain or with cherry, grape or garlic "jellies." I went with cherry and gritted my teeth for the onslaught of grossness. Soon enough, we were served a bowl of four fried "donuts." Tentatively, I bit into my piece, and immediately my defenses were dismantled. Basically, Deep Fried Butter is akin to a fried biscuit. The only difference is in the insides, which are filled with hot melted butter. Everyone lauded the lard, but let’s just say the concoction ruined three out of four of our shirts.</p><p><strong><span class="subhead">Green Goblins (12 tickets, $6)</span></strong></p><p>After searching in vain for Fernie’s Deep Fried Peaches & Cream (Big Tex Choice Best Tasting), we decided to call it a day. Still, I couldn’t shake the empty feeling. I was still hungry, believe it or not, but more importantly, we had 13 tickets left. Just outside the Midway’s main drag, we found the Green Goblin booth. What are Green Goblins, you ask? Apparently, it’s a popular question, because the vendors had placed a sign with a definition on the booth’s counter — cherry peppers stuffed with shredded chicken and guacamole, deep fried on a stick and covered with queso. I took the first bite (since, again, it’s served in one big piece on a stick) and now it was my turn to swoon. The juicy cherry pepper was filled with creamy guacamole, all of it covered in a crispy batter swimming in queso. I didn’t taste much chicken, but it was a total taste sensation. As we headed back to the car, I realized that the Green Goblins sum up State Fair food at its best: Authentic renditions of regional cuisine. And if your shirt gets stained in the process, that’s just part of the experience.