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Wednesday, Aug. 12, 2009
Final Four burger battle brings upsets and life lessons
Battle of the Burgers: Our winner will be announced Thursday! Check back for details.
If we learned anything during this week’s Battle of the Burgers Final Four matchups, it’s that hamburgers can be a lot like relationships. You can be dating someone (or eating their burgers) for months, enjoying the company and nourishment they offer; you tell yourself, this is The One. But then that potential life partner does something shocking — perhaps you find out he’s a Barry Manilow fan, or maybe you discover, à la The Crying Game, she’s really a he — and the relationship is forever spoiled. You will never look upon your beloved the same way again.
That’s how we felt when our dearly delicious Five Guys betrayed our affections with a bevy of dry burgers in the Final Four.
Just as in relationships, though, a longtime companion you’ve grown overly accustomed to can surprise you — and remind you in a breathtaking instant what made you fall in love with him in the first place.
So it went at Jakes, where one bite into the Burger of the Month, a sumptuous blue cheese-slathered beauty, made us want to take back every mean word we had ever uttered about those poppy-seed buns.
One other point of comparison between hamburgers and relationships: You never know how they are going to turn out, and that’s precisely what makes them so exciting. Going into the Final Four, we were confident that Jakes vs. Five Guys would be a one-sided battle, whereas Pappas Burger vs. Fred’s would provide a knock-down, drag-out fight that would be impossible to decide. Wrong and wrong. In both cases, as in many relationships, we found ourselves wandering down paths we might never have imagined. We had to look deep within ourselves and remember that the only way to make any relationship succeed is to be open to the possibility of change.
So our burger love affair continues, and we draw one step closer to declaring the best burger in the Metroplex. Now, if we could only get our respective boyfriends, girlfriends and spouses to stop pointing out how much weight we’ve gained over the course of the battle . . .
2. Fred’s (Fort Worth) vs. 1. Pappas Burger (Chain)
■The winner: Fred’s
Honestly, we thought it would be closer: Pappas Burgers moved through the early rounds with its exuberant, often messy, but flavor-packed burgers. Judging on the basis of the patty alone, we still regard it as the finest in the competition. Like all great champions, Fred’s showed occasional cracks along the way — a hint of dryness in the meat one visit, a burger that almost fell apart in another — but always managed to come out ahead.
In this Final Four matchup, however, Fred’s ended up leaving its stellar competitor in the dust. At the legendary Fort Worth cafe, we ordered four different burgers — the Diablo, which comes topped with Swiss cheese and roasted chipotles; the blue cheese burger; the classic Fredburger; and Fred with bacon and portabella mushrooms — each one more assured and memorable than the next. Everything clicked this time, from the exquisitely juicy meat, to the surprisingly sturdy bun, to the boffo combination of hot and creamy on the Diablo. (If there is a National Burger of Texas, it should be this one.) Sure, we could quibble with things here or there (the portabella and bacon slightly overwhelmed the burger; our tomato slice was a tad underripe). Yet the overwhelming passion that gets poured into these burgers is undeniable.
No such luck at Pappas, which seemed to be having an off day: One cheeseburger arrived with far too much mayo and barely any cheese. The bacon blue cheese burger, a stellar performer in the previous round, arrived medium-well, despite a requested medium. Only one of our five panelists — she ordered the Hickory Bacon Cheddar Burger — felt that Pappas deserved the nod. The rest of us lined up for Fred’s. If it performs as ably as this in the finals, it stands poised to win the entire battle.
3. Jakes (Dallas) vs. Five Guys (Mid-Cities/other)
■The winner: Jakes
Buster Douglas over Mike Tyson. Joe Namath’s New York Jets over the vaunted Baltimore Colts. The 1969 New York Mets. Add to this list of mind-blowing upsets Jakes over Five Guys. We expected a walk-over and we got one — in the opposite direction. Until now, Five Guys has delivered impossibly juicy, beautifully composed and fresh-tasting burgers, vanquishing impressive competitors like Johnny B’s and OC Burger. But Jakes seemed to be coasting on reputation — capitalizing on the mistakes of such competitors as Burguesa and Scotty P’s.
But from our first bite at Five Guys, we knew the normally superb, Arlington, Va.-based chain was having an off day: The meat seemed dry and overcooked; the fresh toppings lacked their usual kick; our requested A1 was a half-smear of sauce that quickly congealed into the messy cheese. The judges were crestfallen.
Jakes, meanwhile, brought its A-game — and for the first time in this competition reminded us why they have long been regarded as champions. The bottle-cap burger, topped with crunch and spicy fried jalapeños, reasserted itself as a quintessentially Texas treat. The Red Steer burger, topped with hickory sauce, was a masterful blend of the smoky, greasy and salty. But it was the burger of the month, a blue cheese-and bacon-topped concoction, that proved truly peerless. Flavorful, peppery beef; a smear of blue cheese (most burger joints give you crumbles); arguably the most perfectly seasoned and cooked bacon we’ve experienced thus far. Even the sloppy-seed buns didn’t get on our nerves this time, but instead held the behemoth burger together with grace and strength. We walked out shocked but unanimous: Jakes had pulled off a triumphant victory and deservedly launched itself into the finals.
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