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Thursday, Aug. 06, 2009
Battle of the Burgers: down to the Final Four
Battle of the Burgers Elite Eight: Which Cowtown legend crumbled?
The kind of hamburger you prefer says a lot about the person you are. This thought occurred to us as we judged the fascinating showdown between Kincaid’s and Fred’s, the top two seeds in the Fort Worth bracket. Comparing Fred’s unwieldy, piping hot behemoth Diablo burger to the old-fashioned simplicity and elegance of Kincaid’s bacon cheeseburger felt criminal, even perverse — like trying to declare which is better, a Jackson Pollock canvas or a Beethoven symphony.
For us, the choice of Fred’s — big, bold, wildly inventive — was ultimately easy, but we suspect another, more conservative-minded set of judges might have gone for Kincaid’s. Same goes in the chain category, where the uncommonly polished, straight-to-the-point Fuddruckers squared off against the overstuffed, flavor-packed burgers at Pappas.
The point here: In the Elite Eight, there were no real losers, only different burgers for different dining sensibilities. The joints that made it this far are regularly serving up consistent, distinct works of culinary art, and they all deserve to be celebrated.
And while there are no wildly unexpected choices left standing in the Final Four, we are positively giddy as we consider the next set of showdowns, which pair two similarly over-the-top burgers (Fred’s vs. Pappas) on one side of the bracket, and a pair of more traditional burgers on the other.
Will the compact, greasy beauty of Five Guys topple the old-school, poppy-seeded charm of Jakes?
Will the fire and chaos of Fred’s triumph over the slightly more orderly, but just as voracious Pappas burger ?
The answers will tell us as much about ourselves as they do the burgers.
1. Kincaid’s vs. 2. Fred’s
■Winner: Fred’s
Are you Republican or Democrat? Conservative or independent? Comparing the Fort Worth institutions Kincaid’s and Fred’s — which deservedly were seeded numbers 1 and 2 in our Fort Worth bracket — reveals as much about your personal ideology as it does about your taste in beef. Kincaid’s leans conservative: It offers up a no-frills, unassuming burger. The buns are standard issue. The cheese is inoffensive. Yet the burger works, in part because it’s so appealingly old-fashioned. Fred’s, on the other hand, is wildly, even recklessly independent. Applying chipotles to anything can be overpowering but on the Diablo Burger they blend with the tasty beef and melted Swiss cheese perfectly. The bun barely holds together. You need about 300 napkins to clean up your mess. The exuberance on display finally proves infectious. So which is it. John McCain or Barack Obama? Rick Perry or Kinky Friedman? Kincaid’s or Fred’s? Call us a bunch of left-leaning pinkos if you must, but we’ll always pick the trailblazer over the guy that opts to stay the course.
1. Pappas Burger vs. 3. Fuddruckers
■Winner: Pappas
Props are due to Fuddruckers: The journeyman burger joint muscled through the first two rounds on the strength of neatly presented, cooked-to-order burgers that deliver more flavor than you’d ever expect. Against Pappas Burger, it once again performed ably: The Bacon and Bleu, with creamy crumbles of blue cheese and an elegant nest of balsamic-glazed grilled onions, was a delight, as was the Southwest Burger, which adds a tangy-creamy scoop of guacamole to pepper jack cheese and bacon. But Fudds was facing off against a master: With each round, Pappas has delivered a burger of such depth of flavor that you forgive it its occasional missteps (a chunk of our patty fell into the basket after just one bite.) We tackled the bleu cheeseburger, which comes topped perfectly with salty bacon and an artery-clogging, but never overwhelming mass of fried onion rings. Every bite revealed something new, and the patty itself — so juicy, so sumptuously seasoned, so one-of-a-kind — is divine.
4. Scotty P’s vs. 3. Jakes
■Winner: Jakes
If these are the two best burgers in Dallas, it might be time to move to Fort Worth or Southlake. Scotty P’s cooks up a solid but unspectacular burger, with thick, firm patties (nary a grill line out of place), soft sesame-seed bun and crisp veggies. Really, there’s nothing to complain about here, but not much to rave about, either. Even the mushroom Swiss burger failed to leave a lasting impression. Jakes, on the other hand, is a hot mess that sticks with you well after you’ve downed the last bite (or is that the poppy seeds?). The two thin beef patties are peppery, greasy and full of flavor. Add the perfectly melted cheese and lightly breaded "bottlecap" jalapeños, and you’ve got a tempest of tastes, all living beneath the signature, sloppyseed bun. Jakes is confident, unapologetic burgering. We even got a bit of gristle in one of our burgers on the last visit, but it didn’t derail Jakes from triumphing over the overly safe Scotty P’s. But that kind of sloppy play won’t cut it in the Final Four.
1. Five Guys Burgers and Fries vs. 2. Johnny B’s
■Winner: Five Guys
Not only is Southlake the richest city per capita in the country, it’s got two of the best burgers in the Metroplex, within shouting distance, along Southlake Boulevard. (Not fair!) Five Guys, owner of a wall full of Best Burger awards, has been a juggernaut in the early rounds of our bracket, but against another stylish Southlake burger joint, the top seed showed a crack of vulnerability. Johnny B’s compact, well-constructed double cheeseburger is wonderfully juicy, and the smallish, square buns have a lovely hint of sweetness. But some limp veggies and an overpowering onion slice interrupted our flow of great flavors. Five Guys’ caramelized double thin patties retain their juiciness and blend well with the melted American cheese. Crisp lettuce and fresh (not pickled) jalapeño add great crunch and a spicy kick to our burger. The overly crispy bacon was a rare misstep, but it was not enough to sidetrack the sonata of flavors that Five Guys orchestrates in its unpretentious, nearly brilliant burgers.
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